Jonathan Goldstein tells a story about his friend Josh Karpati, who has two-year-old twins, and who never leaves the house. Jonathan hosts Wiretap on CBC Radio. (13 minutes)
http://www.thisamericanlife.org
Monday, January 12, 2015
Monday, October 20, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Nappy bag for twins
CONTENT (suitable for Southland, NZ, weather conditions):
Changing mat
Spare towel
Wet wipes
6-10 nappies
Castor oil, zinc cream
Bottles (full with EBM or formula)
Bibs
Sunscreen
Insect repellent
Spare onesies x 2
Spare teddies x 2
Cardies x 2
Woolly hats x 2
Sunhats x 2
'Breastfeeding facilities' pamphlet
Pen
Hand sanitiser
Toys
Teething rings
Soothers (Pacifiers)
Ear muffs
Musli bar
Camera
GLOVE BOX (In case the nappy bag is left behind one day):
Musli bars
Barley sugars
Chewing gum (for driving when tired)
Spare formula
Spare solids Spoons
Spare teats
Spare breast pads
Spare wet wipes
Spare teats
Spare nappy
Thank you cards
Litre of tap water/ bottles unopened water (to mix formula)
old plastic/ bread bag for soiled nappies
Nipple cream
Friday, September 13, 2013
Whaea Ora:A wellbeing book for new mothers
Somehow life seems to stop when giving birth, as if there is nothing anymore to do or worry about except for baby.
The usual distractions for example, sport results, book chapters, daily runs, celebrity news, social interchange of texts, blogs, Facebook posts, favourite TV shows, baking, cooking, exercise appear like a thing of yesterday , worse still they become annoying and fondness for them disappears, as they don’t seem to make sense anymore when a baby screams at you.
The author of Buddhism for Mothers writes that mothers are given loads of advice on nurturing children, rarely on nurturing themselves. But also feel like confined, isolated, nervous, tired and bored.
She also writes that as mothers we all have experienced long, lonely days at home struggling to break the repetititve nature of the daily routine, sleep deprivation and negative thoughts. She says that these experiences make all mothers more compassionate towards mothers who are going through it.
Children's Hospital at Stanford writes the postpartum period begins after the delivery of the baby and ends when the mother's body has returned as closely as possible to its pre-pregnant state.
So how can new mothers reprioritise their life without completely giving oneself over to baby and manage to reach eventually the pre-pregnant state again?
In New Zealand the babies get a Tamariki Ora book which guides baby through baby's milestones over five official appointments over a 12 week period following birth.
New mothers hear, listen and read so much about milestone about baby when new mothers are in as much need for milestones while re-prioritising their minds and trying to become more relaxed.
New mothers could be issued a wellbeing book like a Tamariki Ora book, too. It could be called a Whaea Ora book and go something like this.
Milestones between 1-4 weeks of giving birth:
Hemorrhoids retreat
Manages to sleep through one night once a week
Gets out once a day
Talks about latest mobile apps to a friend
Completes online news quiz
Finds out latest gossip
Finds out the #1 song, album
Stops speaking in half sentences and being aware it's normal
Brushes teeth at least once a day
Brushes hair once a day
Becomes comfortable with breastfeeding or bottle feeding sans public pressure
Milestones between 4-8 weeks
Puts on nice undies
Stops saying "I don't know" or "Not sure" twenty times a day
Uses new apps
Writes five non baby fears, ideas and goals
Finds a cool book review because they will never be enough time to read an entire one
Reads an international magazine/ newspaper online
Breath starting to smell better
Has a positive self image with these new jugs
Embraces pregnancy weight
Milestones between 8- ...weeks
Organisational skills return
Enters a sport event or buy ticket to a show or concert
Goes to a public event/ show
Social graces smoothen out as your hormones go back to normal levels
Gives partner skin on skin
Head stops hurting
There could be a section with boxes to tick, and space for stickers. For example, catching up with friend over coffee. This deserves a sticker! For a run deserving two stickers, a swim deserving three!And meeting with a new mother who only just met, four stickers and loads of kisses.
Then there can be reminders about joining a parents group, a playgroup, an online forum.
There can be a page signed off by a GP, partner, nurse or Plunket who reaffirm and say "yes, seems normal self","yes, seems normal self, "yes, seems normal.
At the bottom a total score is then stamped with "successfully reprioritised her life",deserving this time of five stickers, with one specifically big one for the hand, printed "WOW" and inadvertently spells "MOM" upside down symbolising that the new mum has graduated as a parent!
Featured also a page for comments and helpful advice from friends and photos of dwindling pregnancy weight, E cup jugs and increasing buns of steel to remind in later years when revisiting these pages what a sexy mum one was.
The Whaea Ora Book would stem the flow of guilt, insecurities, depression, exhaustion and perhaps bring forth a more self-secure, well-adjusted new mum, especially that of twins.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
When mice ruin my photo albums, I make sauerkraut
Spring is here and the daffodil and tulip bulbs are coming up all around the house.
We
have perfect blue sky mornings and there is no wind, only calm on the
corner where we walk to and collect the mail each day if we remember.
Lambs are about to crowd the verdant and fecund paddocks while my own wee lambs are screaming their heads off as we are heading out this morning.
Lambs are about to crowd the verdant and fecund paddocks while my own wee lambs are screaming their heads off as we are heading out this morning.
So spring is here. But remembering yesterday afternoon is taking the spring right out of my step. I am driving to deposit more possessions in the
storage unit to make more room in our little house.
The storage unit is a converted and decommissioned anglican church and sits on our land a kilometre away. As I walk in I discover that all of my photo albums covers are being nibbled by mice.
All of my albums are put together with savings, care, meticulousness and all responsible for charting my journey through life in pictures pre twins.
The storage unit is a converted and decommissioned anglican church and sits on our land a kilometre away. As I walk in I discover that all of my photo albums covers are being nibbled by mice.
All of my albums are put together with savings, care, meticulousness and all responsible for charting my journey through life in pictures pre twins.
As I go through all the banana boxes storing my possessions, I see the damage and hit the wall as though I remember each photo the way it is being taken and later, the time and dollars set aside especially to develop and glue the precious photos into the album. I am now at a loss as to how my memories can be perfectly restored in these albums for later years without cumbersome chore of buying more and transferring the pictures anew. I am mortified
The desecration of my memories by innocent field mice comes as a huge let down and unleashes a deluge of tears and frustration about everything. But, I stop myself coming down on myself too hard for storing them in open boxes in the first place! And I remember too that my emotions are compounded mainly by a lack of sleep and need to go easy on myself.
The desecration of my memories by innocent field mice comes as a huge let down and unleashes a deluge of tears and frustration about everything. But, I stop myself coming down on myself too hard for storing them in open boxes in the first place! And I remember too that my emotions are compounded mainly by a lack of sleep and need to go easy on myself.
I take the box stashed with albums home resolve taht its
happened and retreat tired to the bedroom.
Our five year old comes in stands in the frame of the door of our bedroom and looks at me quizzically at where I sit as I fire an emotional email off to my mother. I say to her the mice have eaten my photo albums!
Our five year old responds to my plight by asking if the mice like cheese. I respond yes. And she says we need to put cheese in traps and catch the ice. The next morning still pondering over my plight she suggests peanut butter. So practical. I get up and get the bait from the pantry and strew it around the storage. I feel proud for letting this ‘huge” thing not consume the little stored sleep adn energy I have
My mother responds I need to drive to her house which sits currently empty and have a break!
Our five year old comes in stands in the frame of the door of our bedroom and looks at me quizzically at where I sit as I fire an emotional email off to my mother. I say to her the mice have eaten my photo albums!
Our five year old responds to my plight by asking if the mice like cheese. I respond yes. And she says we need to put cheese in traps and catch the ice. The next morning still pondering over my plight she suggests peanut butter. So practical. I get up and get the bait from the pantry and strew it around the storage. I feel proud for letting this ‘huge” thing not consume the little stored sleep adn energy I have
My mother responds I need to drive to her house which sits currently empty and have a break!
This morning around 2AM I google how to repair damaged
books and found some clver adn aesthetic ways to repair my albums. As with the usual turn of events it takes a bit of time but after
a while my brain catches up with my emotions. And then around 10AM this morning I decide I am making
sauerkraut to take the sauer out of my kraut and stay put on the farm.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Good enough post partum fitness
My doctor asks me all the usual questions at the 6-week check up. How do I sleep? What is my energy like? Do I get out? Do I exercise?
I reply I go for walks.
And then he asks what is the furthest distance I have walked so far and I try to recall the few times I have been for a walk. So I attempt to calculate the distance from one letter box to the next and the next.
There is a total of three letterboxes on our rural road. Last time I walked past the second letter box I did not make the third. To give the doctor the right sort of an answer, I come up with an estimate distance of 800 m but I am sure it's more. This is the furthest I have walked between all three letterboxes since six weeks ago when the little ones arrived
So I answer that I rowed at Corporate8 races last year and won. And he replies with military precision and speed, "good enough".
I next asks whether my wound had healed enough at 7 weeks to return to swimming.
He remonstrats then answeres that after a caesarean it is a good idea to start by growing fitness levels by introducing slow short walks to longer more rigorous ones, then swimming, then biking, then ...
I reply I go for walks.
And then he asks what is the furthest distance I have walked so far and I try to recall the few times I have been for a walk. So I attempt to calculate the distance from one letter box to the next and the next.
There is a total of three letterboxes on our rural road. Last time I walked past the second letter box I did not make the third. To give the doctor the right sort of an answer, I come up with an estimate distance of 800 m but I am sure it's more. This is the furthest I have walked between all three letterboxes since six weeks ago when the little ones arrived
He asks how many meters I usual walk even before the birth and I am pushed to think even harder for an answer. Letterboxes aside, they say a pregnant woman's brain shrinks and as far as I can remember before the anaesthetic wore off from my c-section, I recall only that I swim a lot and didn't really go for walks during my pregnancy which mixes up my brain up even more.
My doctor asks questions with military precision and speed and while I am trying to keep up with the questions he is asking simutaneously I am trying to give him true answers without falling into the trap of breaking into any one persona of the dozens of John Cleese's roles I have watched before and after pregnancy.
I am thinking how am I going to tie in the current walking distances with the swimming distances to derive at the pre-pregnancy fitness level the doctor is asking after? Did I do any walking other than to my car, to work, through the supermarket?
My doctor asks questions with military precision and speed and while I am trying to keep up with the questions he is asking simutaneously I am trying to give him true answers without falling into the trap of breaking into any one persona of the dozens of John Cleese's roles I have watched before and after pregnancy.
I am thinking how am I going to tie in the current walking distances with the swimming distances to derive at the pre-pregnancy fitness level the doctor is asking after? Did I do any walking other than to my car, to work, through the supermarket?
So I answer that I rowed at Corporate8 races last year and won. And he replies with military precision and speed, "good enough".
I next asks whether my wound had healed enough at 7 weeks to return to swimming.
He remonstrats then answeres that after a caesarean it is a good idea to start by growing fitness levels by introducing slow short walks to longer more rigorous ones, then swimming, then biking, then ...
Today I walk to the corner, past letterbox one and two, pushing a double buggy uphill and make it just beyond letterbox three. I feel out of breath and a wee bit disappointed I have not made it a little further but I think "good enough" remembering my doctor appointment with fondness and catching my breath
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Don't touch the sterilising bucket (Men take note!)
It's amazing the meaning of what a bucket brings to my day...
Once a day upon a time around 8 o'clock I change my sterilising water in the morning
As a new mother it has taken me so long to get my head around having twins and figuring out what systems are there to use, how systems work and why systems are important as a new mother
I have already been finding out how skipping one afternoon nap for myself can upset the whole balance of things including processes and systems when two babies are screaming their heads off.
It has taken a two weeks hideous hiatus cooped up at neonatal unit learning about bonding, how to breastfeed, acclimatising to new schedules and body clocks, discovering the world of baby health, dealing with anxiety and proctective instincts to keep over zealous nosy strangers and their opinions at bay, all in the name of trying to be the best parent I can be for my twins before leaving this controlled environment and venturing into the real world.
When I get home it takes a lot of concentration, sleep and another week or two at home to reintegrate these neonatal learnings at home with all its nuances there (partner, five year old, cat, heat pump, limited hot water, visitors, birds in chimney) and there learning again this time how to be flexible, working around forever changing feeding times, and other babies needs in this new but old environment. Not to forget to remembering to look after myself scar, bottom, dystriphied muscles, wobbly tummy
The centre of all operations as described above has all but become inadverdently centred around the sterilsing and the Eco Store bucket.
Once I have the morning feed out of the way I head straight away for the bucket to change water, pop a Milton tablet and transfer any cleaned bottles,
This elementary action prompts me to jump into the shower, brush my teeth, reminds to get out of PJ's, put fresh clothes on and have breakfast and pump.
The difference between the sterilsing bucket and me are not only do I get to do the above in a timely fashion before baby wakes but I also remember to look after myself. I take iron tables, dpoeridome, put crae on my scar and haemorrhoids, change my sanitary pad while still recovering from the birth.
In fact this process is the only exercise in the day during which I get to remember clearly and write down what date and time of day it is- a sobering moment in a world of wakes, nappy changes, feeds, screams and burps.
When the other day I discovered my partner cleans the sterilising bucket, for what seemed just an innocent attempt to do something nice for me in the morning, I went compeltely mental at him
He tried to pour the sterilising water elsewhere as it messes with the septic tank.
But mess with my sterilsing bucket and I turn into a transpecies of Rotweiler and human barking at my partner as I found out when all he did is change the sterilsing water for me the day.
I wish he told me direct about the septic tank. The fact remains looking after twins is relentless and tiring and brings out all kinds of instincts including the protection of sterilising buckets.
Once a day upon a time around 8 o'clock I change my sterilising water in the morning
As a new mother it has taken me so long to get my head around having twins and figuring out what systems are there to use, how systems work and why systems are important as a new mother
I have already been finding out how skipping one afternoon nap for myself can upset the whole balance of things including processes and systems when two babies are screaming their heads off.
It has taken a two weeks hideous hiatus cooped up at neonatal unit learning about bonding, how to breastfeed, acclimatising to new schedules and body clocks, discovering the world of baby health, dealing with anxiety and proctective instincts to keep over zealous nosy strangers and their opinions at bay, all in the name of trying to be the best parent I can be for my twins before leaving this controlled environment and venturing into the real world.
When I get home it takes a lot of concentration, sleep and another week or two at home to reintegrate these neonatal learnings at home with all its nuances there (partner, five year old, cat, heat pump, limited hot water, visitors, birds in chimney) and there learning again this time how to be flexible, working around forever changing feeding times, and other babies needs in this new but old environment. Not to forget to remembering to look after myself scar, bottom, dystriphied muscles, wobbly tummy
The centre of all operations as described above has all but become inadverdently centred around the sterilsing and the Eco Store bucket.
Once I have the morning feed out of the way I head straight away for the bucket to change water, pop a Milton tablet and transfer any cleaned bottles,
This elementary action prompts me to jump into the shower, brush my teeth, reminds to get out of PJ's, put fresh clothes on and have breakfast and pump.
The difference between the sterilsing bucket and me are not only do I get to do the above in a timely fashion before baby wakes but I also remember to look after myself. I take iron tables, dpoeridome, put crae on my scar and haemorrhoids, change my sanitary pad while still recovering from the birth.
In fact this process is the only exercise in the day during which I get to remember clearly and write down what date and time of day it is- a sobering moment in a world of wakes, nappy changes, feeds, screams and burps.
When the other day I discovered my partner cleans the sterilising bucket, for what seemed just an innocent attempt to do something nice for me in the morning, I went compeltely mental at him
He tried to pour the sterilising water elsewhere as it messes with the septic tank.
But mess with my sterilsing bucket and I turn into a transpecies of Rotweiler and human barking at my partner as I found out when all he did is change the sterilsing water for me the day.
I wish he told me direct about the septic tank. The fact remains looking after twins is relentless and tiring and brings out all kinds of instincts including the protection of sterilising buckets.
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